Dear Readers
In this second part of PTE Writing, I'll discuss the second element of the Writing Section
Essay (20mins)
What to expect
In this section, you have 20 minutes to write an Essay on the topic given. You are judged on how
well you develop a position, organize your ideas, present supporting details, and control the
elements of standard written English. Your essay should be between 200-300 words.
There will usually be a single essay question in the exam.
Scoring
Your Essay is scored on the following parameters:
Grammar, vocabulary, spelling, written discourse, Content; development, structure and coherence; form, general linguistic range
Content:
3 Adequately deals with the prompt
2 Deals with the prompt but does not deal with one minor aspect
1 Deals with the prompt but omits a major aspect or more than one minor aspect
0 Does not deal properly with the prompt
Scan through the prompt and understand it clearly. Get a clear sense of what the topic is and what key points you have been asked to cover. Make sure you take in any points of view that may have been asked.
In the unlikely event that you do not deal with any of the content in the prompt, you are not scored further on the remaining parameters.
Form:
2 Length is between 200 and 300 words
1 Length is between 120 and 199 or between 301 and 380 words
0 Length is less than 120 or more than 380 words. Essay is written in capital letters, contains no punctuation or only consists of bullet points or very short sentences
Your Essay is scored on the following parameters:
Grammar, vocabulary, spelling, written discourse, Content; development, structure and coherence; form, general linguistic range
Content:
3 Adequately deals with the prompt
2 Deals with the prompt but does not deal with one minor aspect
1 Deals with the prompt but omits a major aspect or more than one minor aspect
0 Does not deal properly with the prompt
Scan through the prompt and understand it clearly. Get a clear sense of what the topic is and what key points you have been asked to cover. Make sure you take in any points of view that may have been asked.
In the unlikely event that you do not deal with any of the content in the prompt, you are not scored further on the remaining parameters.
Form:
2 Length is between 200 and 300 words
1 Length is between 120 and 199 or between 301 and 380 words
0 Length is less than 120 or more than 380 words. Essay is written in capital letters, contains no punctuation or only consists of bullet points or very short sentences
Development, structure and coherence:
2 Shows good development and logical structure
1 Is incidentally less well structured, and some elements or paragraphs are poorly linked
0 Lacks coherence and mainly consists of lists or loose elements
2 Shows good development and logical structure
1 Is incidentally less well structured, and some elements or paragraphs are poorly linked
0 Lacks coherence and mainly consists of lists or loose elements
Grammar:
2 Shows consistent grammatical control of complex language. Errors are rare and difficult to spot
1 Shows a relatively high degree of grammatical control. No mistakes which would lead to misunderstandings
0 Contains mainly simple structures and/or several basic mistakes
1 Sufficient range of language to provide clear descriptions, express viewpoints and develop
arguments
0 Contains mainly basic language and lacks precision
2 Shows consistent grammatical control of complex language. Errors are rare and difficult to spot
1 Shows a relatively high degree of grammatical control. No mistakes which would lead to misunderstandings
0 Contains mainly simple structures and/or several basic mistakes
General linguistic range:
2 Exhibits smooth mastery of a wide range of language to formulate thoughts precisely, give emphasis, differentiate and eliminate ambiguity. No sign that the test taker is restricted in what they want to communicate
2 Exhibits smooth mastery of a wide range of language to formulate thoughts precisely, give emphasis, differentiate and eliminate ambiguity. No sign that the test taker is restricted in what they want to communicate
0 Contains mainly basic language and lacks precision
Vocabulary range:
2 Good command of a broad lexical repertoire, idiomatic expressions and colloquialisms
1 Shows a good range of vocabulary for matters connected to general academic topics. Lexical shortcomings lead to circumlocution or some imprecision
0 Contains mainly basic vocabulary insufficient to deal with the topic at the required level
0 More than one spelling error
Tips & Strategy on Writing a Winning Essay
2 Good command of a broad lexical repertoire, idiomatic expressions and colloquialisms
1 Shows a good range of vocabulary for matters connected to general academic topics. Lexical shortcomings lead to circumlocution or some imprecision
0 Contains mainly basic vocabulary insufficient to deal with the topic at the required level
Spelling:
2 Correct spelling
1 One spelling error
2 Correct spelling
1 One spelling error
Tips & Strategy on Writing a Winning Essay
Making your sentences effective
What is style?
Many good ideas are lost because they are expressed in a dull, wordy, involved way. We often have difficulty following—we may even ignore—instructions that are hard to read. Yet we find other instructions written in such a clear and simple way that a child could easily follow them. This way of writing—the words we choose and the way we use them—we call style.
No two people write exactly alike. Even when writing about the same thing, they probably will say it differently. Some will say it more effectively than others, of course; what they say will be more easily read and understood. But there is seldom any one best way to say something. Rather, there are usually several equally good ways. This flexibility is what makes English such a rich language.
Style can’t be taught; each person’s style is like personality—it is unique to him or her. But we can each improve our style. Let us consider how we can improve our writing style by improving our sentences.
How to Write effective sentences
We speak in sentences; we write in sentences. A single word or phrase sometimes carries a complete thought, but sentences are more often the real units of thought communication.
Writing good sentences takes concentration, patience, and practice. It involves much more than just stringing words together, one after another, as they tumble from our minds. If writers aren’t careful, their sentences may not mean to the reader what they want them to; they may mean what they didn’t want them to—or they may mean nothing at all.
This section discusses five things writers can do to write better sentences—or improve sentences already written. These are:
We can make our writing more interesting by writing in an informal, conversational style. This style also makes our writing easier to understand and our readers more receptive to our thoughts.
Listen to two men meeting in the coffee shop. One tells the other, “Let me know when you need more paper clips.” But how would he have written it? Probably as follows: Request this office be notified when your activity’s supply of paper clips, wire, steel gem pat- tern, large type 1, stock No. 7510-634-6516, falls below 30-day level prescribed in AFR 67-1, Vol. II, Section IV, subject: Office Supplies. Requisition will be submitted as expeditiously as possible to preclude noncompliance with appropriate directives.
What is style?
Many good ideas are lost because they are expressed in a dull, wordy, involved way. We often have difficulty following—we may even ignore—instructions that are hard to read. Yet we find other instructions written in such a clear and simple way that a child could easily follow them. This way of writing—the words we choose and the way we use them—we call style.
No two people write exactly alike. Even when writing about the same thing, they probably will say it differently. Some will say it more effectively than others, of course; what they say will be more easily read and understood. But there is seldom any one best way to say something. Rather, there are usually several equally good ways. This flexibility is what makes English such a rich language.
Style can’t be taught; each person’s style is like personality—it is unique to him or her. But we can each improve our style. Let us consider how we can improve our writing style by improving our sentences.
How to Write effective sentences
We speak in sentences; we write in sentences. A single word or phrase sometimes carries a complete thought, but sentences are more often the real units of thought communication.
Writing good sentences takes concentration, patience, and practice. It involves much more than just stringing words together, one after another, as they tumble from our minds. If writers aren’t careful, their sentences may not mean to the reader what they want them to; they may mean what they didn’t want them to—or they may mean nothing at all.
This section discusses five things writers can do to write better sentences—or improve sentences already written. These are:
-
Create interest.
-
Make your meaning clear.
-
Keep your sentences brief.
-
Make every word count.
-
Vary your sentence patterns.
Let’s consider interest first.
We can make our writing more interesting by writing in an informal, conversational style. This style also makes our writing easier to understand and our readers more receptive to our thoughts.
Listen to two men meeting in the coffee shop. One tells the other, “Let me know when you need more paper clips.” But how would he have written it? Probably as follows: Request this office be notified when your activity’s supply of paper clips, wire, steel gem pat- tern, large type 1, stock No. 7510-634-6516, falls below 30-day level prescribed in AFR 67-1, Vol. II, Section IV, subject: Office Supplies. Requisition will be submitted as expeditiously as possible to preclude noncompliance with appropriate directives.
Judging from the formal, academic style of much of our writing, we want to impress rather
than express. There seems to be something about writing that brings out our biggest words,
our most complex sentences, and our most formal style. Obviously this is not effective
writing. We wouldn’t dare say it aloud this formally for fear someone would laugh at us, but we
will write it.
WRITE TO EXPRESS
One of the best ways to make our writing more interesting to the reader—and, hence, more effective—is to write as we talk. Of course we can’t write exactly as we talk, and we shouldn’t want to. We usually straighten out the sentence structure, make our sentences complete rather than fragmentary or run-on, substitute for obvious slang words, and so on. But we can come close to our conversational style without being folksy or ungrammatical or wordy. This infor- mal style is far more appropriate for the kind of writing we do and for the kind of readers we have than the old formal style. And it certainly makes better reading.
BE DEFINITE, SPECIFIC, AND CONCRETE
Another way—and one of the surest—to arouse and hold the interest and attention of readers is to be definite, specific, and concrete.
2. Make Your Meaning Clear.
You do not need to be a grammarian to recognize a good sentence. After all, the first require- ment of grammar is that you focus your reader’s attention on the meaning you wish to convey. If you take care to make your meaning clear, your grammar will usually take care of itself. You can, however, do three things to make your meaning clearer to your reader: (1) emphasize your main ideas, (2) avoid wandering sentences, and (3) avoid ambiguity.
EMPHASIZE THE MAIN IDEAS
When we talk we use gestures, voice changes, pauses, smiles, frowns, and so on to emphasize our main ideas. In writing we have to use different methods for emphasis. Some are purely mechanical; others are structural.
Mechanical devices include capital letters, underlining or italics, punctuation, and head- ings. Printers used to capitalize the first letter of a word they wanted to emphasize. We still occasionally capitalize or use a heavier type to emphasize words, phrases, or whole sentences. Sometimes we underline or italicize words that we want to stand out. Often we label or head main sections or subdivisions, as we have done in this book. This effectively separates main ideas and makes them stand out so that our reader doesn’t have to search for them.
But mechanical devices for emphasizing an idea—capitalization, particularly—are often overused. The best way to emphasize an idea is to place it effectively in the sentence. The most emphatic position is at the end of the sentence. The next most emphatic position is at the beginning of the sentence. The place of least importance is anywhere in the middle. Remember, therefore, to put the important clause, phrase, name, or idea at the beginning or at the end of your sentences, and never hide the main idea in a subordinate clause or have it so buried in the middle of the sentence that the reader has to dig it out or miss it altogether.
Unemphatic: People drive on the left side instead of the right side in England. Better: Instead of driving on the right side, people in England drive on the left.
WRITE TO EXPRESS
One of the best ways to make our writing more interesting to the reader—and, hence, more effective—is to write as we talk. Of course we can’t write exactly as we talk, and we shouldn’t want to. We usually straighten out the sentence structure, make our sentences complete rather than fragmentary or run-on, substitute for obvious slang words, and so on. But we can come close to our conversational style without being folksy or ungrammatical or wordy. This infor- mal style is far more appropriate for the kind of writing we do and for the kind of readers we have than the old formal style. And it certainly makes better reading.
BE DEFINITE, SPECIFIC, AND CONCRETE
Another way—and one of the surest—to arouse and hold the interest and attention of readers is to be definite, specific, and concrete.
2. Make Your Meaning Clear.
You do not need to be a grammarian to recognize a good sentence. After all, the first require- ment of grammar is that you focus your reader’s attention on the meaning you wish to convey. If you take care to make your meaning clear, your grammar will usually take care of itself. You can, however, do three things to make your meaning clearer to your reader: (1) emphasize your main ideas, (2) avoid wandering sentences, and (3) avoid ambiguity.
EMPHASIZE THE MAIN IDEAS
When we talk we use gestures, voice changes, pauses, smiles, frowns, and so on to emphasize our main ideas. In writing we have to use different methods for emphasis. Some are purely mechanical; others are structural.
Mechanical devices include capital letters, underlining or italics, punctuation, and head- ings. Printers used to capitalize the first letter of a word they wanted to emphasize. We still occasionally capitalize or use a heavier type to emphasize words, phrases, or whole sentences. Sometimes we underline or italicize words that we want to stand out. Often we label or head main sections or subdivisions, as we have done in this book. This effectively separates main ideas and makes them stand out so that our reader doesn’t have to search for them.
But mechanical devices for emphasizing an idea—capitalization, particularly—are often overused. The best way to emphasize an idea is to place it effectively in the sentence. The most emphatic position is at the end of the sentence. The next most emphatic position is at the beginning of the sentence. The place of least importance is anywhere in the middle. Remember, therefore, to put the important clause, phrase, name, or idea at the beginning or at the end of your sentences, and never hide the main idea in a subordinate clause or have it so buried in the middle of the sentence that the reader has to dig it out or miss it altogether.
Unemphatic: People drive on the left side instead of the right side in England. Better: Instead of driving on the right side, people in England drive on the left.
AVOID WANDERING SENTENCES
All parts of a sentence should contribute to one clear idea or impression. Long, straggling sen- tences usually contain a hodgepodge of unrelated ideas. You should either break them up into shorter sentences or put the subordinate thoughts into subordinate form. Look at this sentence:
The sergeant, an irritable fellow who had been a truck driver, born and brought up in the corn belt of Iowa, strong as an ox and 6 feet tall, fixed an angry eye on the recruit.
You can see that the main idea is “The sergeant fixed an angry eye on the recruit.” That he was an irritable fellow, strong as an ox, and 6 feet tall adds to the main idea. But the facts that he had been a truck driver and had been born in Iowa add nothing to the main thought, and the sentence is better without them.
The sergeant, an irritable fellow who was strong as an ox and 6 feet tall, fixed an angry eye on the recruit.
AVOID AMBIGUITY
If a sentence can be misunderstood, it will be misunderstood. A sentence that says that “The truck followed the jeep until its tire blew out” may be perfectly clear to the writer, but it will mean nothing to the reader until the pronoun its is identified.
MAKE SURE THAT YOUR MODIFIERS SAY WHAT YOU MEAN
“While eating oats, the farmer took the horse out of the stable.” This sentence provides little more than a laugh until you add to the first part of the sentence a logical subject (“the horse”): “While the horse was eating oats, the farmer took him out of the stable.” Sometimes simple misplacement of modifiers in sentences leads to misunderstanding: “The young lady went to the dance with her boyfriend wearing a low-cut gown.” You can clarify this sentence by simply rearranging it: “Wearing a low-cut gown, the young lady went to the dance with her boyfriend.”
3. Keep Your Sentences Brief.
Sentences written like 10-word advertisements are hard to read. You cannot get the kind of brevity you want by leaving out the articles (a, an, and the). You can get brevity by dividing complex ideas into bite-size sentences and by avoiding unnecessary words and phrases and needless repetition and elaboration. Here are some suggestions that will help you to write short, straightforward sentences.
USE VERBS THAT WORK
The verb—the action word—is the most important word in a sentence. It is the power plant that supplies the energy, vitality, and motion in the sentence. So use strong verbs, verbs that really work in your sentences.
USE THE ACTIVE VOICE
Sentences written in the basic subject-verb-object pattern are said to be written in the active voice. In such sentences someone or something does something to the object—there is a forward movement of the idea. In sentences written in the passive voice, the subject merely receives the action—it has something done to it by someone or something, and there is no feeling of forward movement of the idea.
The active voice, in general, is preferable to the passive voice because it helps to give writing a sense of energy, vitality, and motion. When we use the passive voice predominantly, our writing doesn’t seem to have much life, the actor in the sentences is not allowed to act, and verbs become weak. So don’t rob your writing of its power by using the passive voice when you can use the active voice. Nine out of ten sentences will be both shorter (up to 25 percent shorter) and stronger in the active voice.
All parts of a sentence should contribute to one clear idea or impression. Long, straggling sen- tences usually contain a hodgepodge of unrelated ideas. You should either break them up into shorter sentences or put the subordinate thoughts into subordinate form. Look at this sentence:
The sergeant, an irritable fellow who had been a truck driver, born and brought up in the corn belt of Iowa, strong as an ox and 6 feet tall, fixed an angry eye on the recruit.
You can see that the main idea is “The sergeant fixed an angry eye on the recruit.” That he was an irritable fellow, strong as an ox, and 6 feet tall adds to the main idea. But the facts that he had been a truck driver and had been born in Iowa add nothing to the main thought, and the sentence is better without them.
The sergeant, an irritable fellow who was strong as an ox and 6 feet tall, fixed an angry eye on the recruit.
AVOID AMBIGUITY
If a sentence can be misunderstood, it will be misunderstood. A sentence that says that “The truck followed the jeep until its tire blew out” may be perfectly clear to the writer, but it will mean nothing to the reader until the pronoun its is identified.
MAKE SURE THAT YOUR MODIFIERS SAY WHAT YOU MEAN
“While eating oats, the farmer took the horse out of the stable.” This sentence provides little more than a laugh until you add to the first part of the sentence a logical subject (“the horse”): “While the horse was eating oats, the farmer took him out of the stable.” Sometimes simple misplacement of modifiers in sentences leads to misunderstanding: “The young lady went to the dance with her boyfriend wearing a low-cut gown.” You can clarify this sentence by simply rearranging it: “Wearing a low-cut gown, the young lady went to the dance with her boyfriend.”
3. Keep Your Sentences Brief.
Sentences written like 10-word advertisements are hard to read. You cannot get the kind of brevity you want by leaving out the articles (a, an, and the). You can get brevity by dividing complex ideas into bite-size sentences and by avoiding unnecessary words and phrases and needless repetition and elaboration. Here are some suggestions that will help you to write short, straightforward sentences.
USE VERBS THAT WORK
The verb—the action word—is the most important word in a sentence. It is the power plant that supplies the energy, vitality, and motion in the sentence. So use strong verbs, verbs that really work in your sentences.
USE THE ACTIVE VOICE
Sentences written in the basic subject-verb-object pattern are said to be written in the active voice. In such sentences someone or something does something to the object—there is a forward movement of the idea. In sentences written in the passive voice, the subject merely receives the action—it has something done to it by someone or something, and there is no feeling of forward movement of the idea.
The active voice, in general, is preferable to the passive voice because it helps to give writing a sense of energy, vitality, and motion. When we use the passive voice predominantly, our writing doesn’t seem to have much life, the actor in the sentences is not allowed to act, and verbs become weak. So don’t rob your writing of its power by using the passive voice when you can use the active voice. Nine out of ten sentences will be both shorter (up to 25 percent shorter) and stronger in the active voice.
Let’s compare the two voices:
Active: The pilot flew the aircraft.
(Actor) (action) (acted upon) Passive: The aircraft was flown by the pilot.
(Acted upon) (action) (actor)
Now let’s see some typical passive examples:
The committee will be appointed by the principal.
Reports have been received...
Provisions will be made by the manager in case of a subway strike.
Aren’t these familiar? In most of these we should be emphasizing the actor rather than leaving out or subordinating him or her.
See how much more effective those sentences are when they are written in the active voice.
The principal will appoint the committee.
We have received reports...
The manager will make provisions in case of a subway strike.
AVOID USING THE PASSIVE VOICE
The passive voice always takes more words to say what could be said just as well (and probably better) in the active voice. In the passive voice the subject also becomes less personal and may seem less important, and the motion of the sentence grinds to a halt.
There are times, of course, when the passive voice is useful and justified—as when the person or thing doing the action is unknown or unimportant.
When we use the lifeless passive voice indiscriminately, we make our writing weak, inef- fective, and dull. Remember that the normal English word order is subject-verb-object. There may be occasions in your writing when you feel that the passive voice is preferable. But should such an occasion arise, think twice before you write; the passive voice rarely improves your style. Before using a passive construction, make certain that you have a specific reason. After using it, check to see that your sentence is not misleading.
TAKE A DIRECT APPROACH
Closely related to passive voice construction is indirect phrasing.
It is requested...
It is recommended...
It has been brought to the attention of... It is the opinion of...
Again, this is so familiar to us that we don’t even question it. But who requested? Who recommended? Who knows? Who believes? No one knows from reading such sentences!
This indirect way of writing, this use of the passive voice and the indirect phrase, is perhaps the most characteristic feature of the formal style of the past. There are many explanations for it. A psychiatrist might say the writer was afraid to take the responsibil- ity for what he or she is writing or merely passing the buck. The writer may unjustifiably believe this style makes him or her anonymous, or makes him or her sound less dogmatic and authoritarian.
Active: The pilot flew the aircraft.
(Actor) (action) (acted upon) Passive: The aircraft was flown by the pilot.
(Acted upon) (action) (actor)
Now let’s see some typical passive examples:
The committee will be appointed by the principal.
Reports have been received...
Provisions will be made by the manager in case of a subway strike.
Aren’t these familiar? In most of these we should be emphasizing the actor rather than leaving out or subordinating him or her.
See how much more effective those sentences are when they are written in the active voice.
The principal will appoint the committee.
We have received reports...
The manager will make provisions in case of a subway strike.
AVOID USING THE PASSIVE VOICE
The passive voice always takes more words to say what could be said just as well (and probably better) in the active voice. In the passive voice the subject also becomes less personal and may seem less important, and the motion of the sentence grinds to a halt.
There are times, of course, when the passive voice is useful and justified—as when the person or thing doing the action is unknown or unimportant.
When we use the lifeless passive voice indiscriminately, we make our writing weak, inef- fective, and dull. Remember that the normal English word order is subject-verb-object. There may be occasions in your writing when you feel that the passive voice is preferable. But should such an occasion arise, think twice before you write; the passive voice rarely improves your style. Before using a passive construction, make certain that you have a specific reason. After using it, check to see that your sentence is not misleading.
TAKE A DIRECT APPROACH
Closely related to passive voice construction is indirect phrasing.
It is requested...
It is recommended...
It has been brought to the attention of... It is the opinion of...
Again, this is so familiar to us that we don’t even question it. But who requested? Who recommended? Who knows? Who believes? No one knows from reading such sentences!
This indirect way of writing, this use of the passive voice and the indirect phrase, is perhaps the most characteristic feature of the formal style of the past. There are many explanations for it. A psychiatrist might say the writer was afraid to take the responsibil- ity for what he or she is writing or merely passing the buck. The writer may unjustifiably believe this style makes him or her anonymous, or makes him or her sound less dogmatic and authoritarian.
Express your ideas immediately and directly. Unnecessary expressions like it is, there is,
and there are weaken sentences and delay comprehension. They also tend to place part of the
sentence in the passive voice. It is the recommendation of the sales manager that the report be
forwarded immediately is more directly expressed as The sales manager recommends that we
send the report immediately.
Change Long Modifiers
Mr. Barnes, who is president of the board, will preside.
Vehicles that are defective are...
They gave us a month for accomplishment of the task.
Break Up Long Sentences
There is not enough time available for the average executive to do everything that might be done and so it is necessary for him to determine wisely the essentials and do them first, then spend the remaining time on things that are “nice to do.”
4. Make Every Word Count.
Mr. Barnes, who is president of the board, will preside.
Vehicles that are defective are...
They gave us a month for accomplishment of the task.
Break Up Long Sentences
There is not enough time available for the average executive to do everything that might be done and so it is necessary for him to determine wisely the essentials and do them first, then spend the remaining time on things that are “nice to do.”
4. Make Every Word Count.
to Shorter Ones
Mr. Barnes, the board president, will preside.
Defective vehicles are...
They gave us a month to do the job.
The average executive lacks time to do everything that might be done. Consequently, he must decide what is essential and do it first. Then he can spend the remaining time on things that are “nice to do.”
Mr. Barnes, the board president, will preside.
Defective vehicles are...
They gave us a month to do the job.
The average executive lacks time to do everything that might be done. Consequently, he must decide what is essential and do it first. Then he can spend the remaining time on things that are “nice to do.”
Don’t cheat your readers. They are looking for ideas—for meaning—when they read your let-
ter, report, or directive. If they have to read several words that have little to do with the real
meaning of a sentence, or if they have to read a number of sentences to get just a little meaning,
you are cheating them. Much of their time and effort is wasted because they aren’t getting full
benefit from it. They expected something that you didn’t deliver.
MAKE EACH WORD ADVANCE YOUR THOUGHT
Each word in a sentence should advance the thought of that sentence. To leave it out would destroy the meaning you are trying to convey.
“Naturally,” you say. “Of course!” But reread the last letter you wrote. Aren’t some of your sentences rather wordy? Couldn’t you have said the same thing in fewer words? And finally, how many times did you use a whole phrase to say what could have been said in one word, or a whole clause for what could have been expressed in a short phrase? In short, try tightening up a sentence like this:
The reason that prices rose was that the demand was increasing at the same time that the production was decreasing.
Rewritten:
Prices rose because the demand increased while production decreased.
Doesn’t our rewrite say the same thing as the original? Yet we have saved the reader some effort by squeezing the unnecessary words out of a wordy sentence.
Now try this one:
Wordy: The following statistics serve to give a good idea of the cost of production. Improved: The following statistics give a good idea of the production costs.
or
MAKE EACH WORD ADVANCE YOUR THOUGHT
Each word in a sentence should advance the thought of that sentence. To leave it out would destroy the meaning you are trying to convey.
“Naturally,” you say. “Of course!” But reread the last letter you wrote. Aren’t some of your sentences rather wordy? Couldn’t you have said the same thing in fewer words? And finally, how many times did you use a whole phrase to say what could have been said in one word, or a whole clause for what could have been expressed in a short phrase? In short, try tightening up a sentence like this:
The reason that prices rose was that the demand was increasing at the same time that the production was decreasing.
Rewritten:
Prices rose because the demand increased while production decreased.
Doesn’t our rewrite say the same thing as the original? Yet we have saved the reader some effort by squeezing the unnecessary words out of a wordy sentence.
Now try this one:
Wordy: The following statistics serve to give a good idea of the cost of production. Improved: The following statistics give a good idea of the production costs.
or
These statistics show production costs.
And this one:
Wordy: I have a production supervisor who likes to talk a great deal.
Improved: I have a talkative production supervisor.
In all of those rewritten sentences we have saved our reader some time. The same thing has been said in fewer words.
Of course, you can be too concise. If your writing is too brief or terse, it may “sound” rude and abrupt, and you may lose more than you gain. You need, then, to be politely concise. What you are writing, what you are writing about, and whom you are writing for will help you decide just where to draw the line. However, the general rule, make every word count, still stands. Say what you have to say in as few words as clarity and tact will allow.
CONSOLIDATE IDEAS
A second way to save the reader’s effort is to consolidate ideas whenever possible. Pack as much meaning as possible into each sentence without making the sentence structure too complicated. Each sentence is by definition an idea, a unit of thought. Each time the readers read one
of these units they should get as much meaning as possible. It takes just about as much effort to read a sentence with a simple thought as it does to read one with a strong idea or with two or three strong ideas.
There are several things we can do to pack meaning into a sentence. In general, they all have to do with summarizing, combining, and consolidating ideas.
Some people write sentences that are weak and insignificant, both in structure and thought. Ordinarily several such sentences can be summarized and the thought put into one good, mature sentence. For example:
We left Wisconsin the next morning. I remember watching three aircraft. They were F-4s. They were flying very low. I felt sure they were going to crash over a half a dozen times. The F-4 is new to me. I hadn’t seen one before.
Rewritten:
When we left Wisconsin the next morning, I remember watching three F-4s, a type of aircraft I had never seen before. They were flying so low that over a half dozen times I felt sure they were going to crash.
When summarizing like this, be sure to emphasize the main action. Notice in the next example how we have kept the main action as our verb and made the other actions subordinate by changing them to verbals.
Poor: It was in 1959 that he retired from teaching and he devoted his time to writing his autobiography. (three verbs, one verbal)
Improved: In 1959 he retired from teaching to devote his time to writing his autobiography. (one verb, two verbals)
Here is an example similar to ones we might find in a directive:
Poor: The evaluation forms will be picked up from your respective personnel office. You should have these completed by 1700 hours, 18 May. They will be delivered imme- diately to the security section.
Notice that in the above instructions all of the actions are to be performed by the reader or “you.” Now let’s put these into one sentence, placing the things to be done in a series and using a single subject.
Wordy: I have a production supervisor who likes to talk a great deal.
Improved: I have a talkative production supervisor.
In all of those rewritten sentences we have saved our reader some time. The same thing has been said in fewer words.
Of course, you can be too concise. If your writing is too brief or terse, it may “sound” rude and abrupt, and you may lose more than you gain. You need, then, to be politely concise. What you are writing, what you are writing about, and whom you are writing for will help you decide just where to draw the line. However, the general rule, make every word count, still stands. Say what you have to say in as few words as clarity and tact will allow.
CONSOLIDATE IDEAS
A second way to save the reader’s effort is to consolidate ideas whenever possible. Pack as much meaning as possible into each sentence without making the sentence structure too complicated. Each sentence is by definition an idea, a unit of thought. Each time the readers read one
of these units they should get as much meaning as possible. It takes just about as much effort to read a sentence with a simple thought as it does to read one with a strong idea or with two or three strong ideas.
There are several things we can do to pack meaning into a sentence. In general, they all have to do with summarizing, combining, and consolidating ideas.
Some people write sentences that are weak and insignificant, both in structure and thought. Ordinarily several such sentences can be summarized and the thought put into one good, mature sentence. For example:
We left Wisconsin the next morning. I remember watching three aircraft. They were F-4s. They were flying very low. I felt sure they were going to crash over a half a dozen times. The F-4 is new to me. I hadn’t seen one before.
Rewritten:
When we left Wisconsin the next morning, I remember watching three F-4s, a type of aircraft I had never seen before. They were flying so low that over a half dozen times I felt sure they were going to crash.
When summarizing like this, be sure to emphasize the main action. Notice in the next example how we have kept the main action as our verb and made the other actions subordinate by changing them to verbals.
Poor: It was in 1959 that he retired from teaching and he devoted his time to writing his autobiography. (three verbs, one verbal)
Improved: In 1959 he retired from teaching to devote his time to writing his autobiography. (one verb, two verbals)
Here is an example similar to ones we might find in a directive:
Poor: The evaluation forms will be picked up from your respective personnel office. You should have these completed by 1700 hours, 18 May. They will be delivered imme- diately to the security section.
Notice that in the above instructions all of the actions are to be performed by the reader or “you.” Now let’s put these into one sentence, placing the things to be done in a series and using a single subject.
Improved: Pick up the evaluation forms from your personnel office; complete and deliver
them to the security section by 1700 hours, 18 May. (The subject [you] is
understood.)
The same thing can be done with subjects or predicates:
The same thing can be done with subjects or predicates:
Poor:
Improved:
Improved:
Horror stories shown on television appear to contribute to juvenile delinquency.
Comic books with their horror stories seem to have the same effect. Even the
reports of criminal activities which appear in our newspapers seem to contribute
to juvenile delinquency.
Television, comic books, and newspapers seem to contribute to juvenile delin- quency by emphasizing stories of horror and crime.
Television, comic books, and newspapers seem to contribute to juvenile delin- quency by emphasizing stories of horror and crime.
There is one more thing we can do to make our sentences better. We can vary their length
and complexity. The following paragraphs suggest ways to do this.
5. Vary Your Sentence Patterns.
We should, as a general rule, write predominantly short sentences. Similarly, we should keep our sentences simple enough for our readers to understand them easily and quickly.
But most people soon get tired of nothing but simple, straightforward sentences. So, give your reader an occasional change of pace. Vary both the length and the construction of your sentences.
VARY SENTENCE LENGTH
Some writers use nothing but short, choppy sentences (“The road ended in a wrecked village. The lines were up beyond. There was much artillery around.”) In the hands of a Hemingway, from whom this example is taken, short sentences can give an effect of purity and simplicity; in the hands of a less skillful writer, choppy sentences are usually only monotonous.
The other extreme, of course, is just as bad. The writer who always writes heavy sentences of 20 to 30 words soon loses the reader. Some great writers use long sentences effectively, but most writers do not.
The readability experts suggest that, for the most effective communication, a sentence should rarely exceed 20 words. Their suggestion is a good rule of thumb, but sentence length should vary. And an occasional long sentence is not hard to read if it is followed by shorter ones. A fair goal for most letter-writers is an average of 21 words per sentence, or less. For longer types of writing, such as regulations and manuals, sentences should average 15 words or less. The sentences in opening paragraphs and in short letters may run a little longer than the average.
VARY SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION
Just as important as varied sentence length is variety of construction. Four common sentence categories are simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex.
A simple sentence consists of only one main (independent) clause:
Rain came down in torrents.
Rain and hail started falling. (Simple sentence with compound subject)
The storm began and soon grew in intensity. (Simple sentence with compound predicate)
A compound sentence has two or more main clauses:
Rain started falling, and all work stopped. The storm began; all work stopped.
5. Vary Your Sentence Patterns.
We should, as a general rule, write predominantly short sentences. Similarly, we should keep our sentences simple enough for our readers to understand them easily and quickly.
But most people soon get tired of nothing but simple, straightforward sentences. So, give your reader an occasional change of pace. Vary both the length and the construction of your sentences.
VARY SENTENCE LENGTH
Some writers use nothing but short, choppy sentences (“The road ended in a wrecked village. The lines were up beyond. There was much artillery around.”) In the hands of a Hemingway, from whom this example is taken, short sentences can give an effect of purity and simplicity; in the hands of a less skillful writer, choppy sentences are usually only monotonous.
The other extreme, of course, is just as bad. The writer who always writes heavy sentences of 20 to 30 words soon loses the reader. Some great writers use long sentences effectively, but most writers do not.
The readability experts suggest that, for the most effective communication, a sentence should rarely exceed 20 words. Their suggestion is a good rule of thumb, but sentence length should vary. And an occasional long sentence is not hard to read if it is followed by shorter ones. A fair goal for most letter-writers is an average of 21 words per sentence, or less. For longer types of writing, such as regulations and manuals, sentences should average 15 words or less. The sentences in opening paragraphs and in short letters may run a little longer than the average.
VARY SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION
Just as important as varied sentence length is variety of construction. Four common sentence categories are simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex.
A simple sentence consists of only one main (independent) clause:
Rain came down in torrents.
Rain and hail started falling. (Simple sentence with compound subject)
The storm began and soon grew in intensity. (Simple sentence with compound predicate)
A compound sentence has two or more main clauses:
Rain started falling, and all work stopped. The storm began; all work stopped.
The storm began, the workers found shelter, and all work stopped.
A complex sentence has one main clause and at least one subordinate (dependent) clause.
(Subordinate clauses are underlined in the following sentences.)
They were just starting their work when the rain started. Before they had made any progress, the rain started falling. The storm, which grew rapidly in intensity, stopped all work.
A compound-complex sentence has two or more main clauses and at least one subordinate clause. (Subordinate clauses are underlined in the following sentences.)
Rain started falling, and all work stopped before they had made any progress.
Although the workers were eager to finish the job, the storm forced them to stop, and they quickly found shelter.
They had made some progress before the storm began, but, when it started, all work stopped.
The names of the categories are really not important except to remind you to vary your sentence construction when you write. But remember that sentence variety is not just a mechanical chore to perform after your draft is complete. Good sentence variety comes naturally as the result of proper coordination and subordination when you write.
For example, if two or more short sentences have the same subject, combine them into one simple sentence with a compound verb.
The men were hot. They were tired, too. They were also angry. The men were hot and tired and angry.
If you have two ideas of equal weight or parallel thought, write them as two clauses in a compound sentence.
The day was hot and humid. The men had worked hard. The men had worked hard, and the day was hot and humid. The day was hot and humid, but the men had worked hard.
If one idea is more important than others, put it in the main clause of a complex sentence: Poor: The men were tired, and they had worked hard, and the day was hot.
Better: The men were tired because they had worked hard on a hot day. or
Although the day was hot and the men were tired, they worked hard.
If the adverbial modifier is the least important part of a complex sentence, put it first and keep the end position for the more important main clause:
Instead of: The men finished the job in record time, even though the day was hot and humid and they were tired.
Better: Even though the day was hot and humid and the men were tired, they finished the job in record time.
But be careful about having long, involved subordinate clauses come before the main clause. The reader may get lost or confused before getting to your main point or give up before getting to it. Also beware of letting too many modifying words, phrases, or clauses come between the subject and the verb. This is torture for the reader. The subject and the verb are usually the most important elements of a sentence; keep them close together whenever possible.
Readers, this now completes the Writing Section on PTE. In my first post I shared the TOEFL actual 650+ essays. Make sure you use that book. Read through the book and all the topics. See how each essay is written. Use the style, practise writing on MS Word. I know its impractical to be able to write all 650 essays but do read them all for ideas. if you would follow this even 75% you will end up on 80+ in PTE.
Keep an eye out for my next post which will cover PTE Reading.
Do share my post with your friends and don't forget to subscribe to my post. You can always write to me on my email shristiarya42@gmail.com if you have any questions.
Happy Studying :-)
They were just starting their work when the rain started. Before they had made any progress, the rain started falling. The storm, which grew rapidly in intensity, stopped all work.
A compound-complex sentence has two or more main clauses and at least one subordinate clause. (Subordinate clauses are underlined in the following sentences.)
Rain started falling, and all work stopped before they had made any progress.
Although the workers were eager to finish the job, the storm forced them to stop, and they quickly found shelter.
They had made some progress before the storm began, but, when it started, all work stopped.
The names of the categories are really not important except to remind you to vary your sentence construction when you write. But remember that sentence variety is not just a mechanical chore to perform after your draft is complete. Good sentence variety comes naturally as the result of proper coordination and subordination when you write.
For example, if two or more short sentences have the same subject, combine them into one simple sentence with a compound verb.
The men were hot. They were tired, too. They were also angry. The men were hot and tired and angry.
If you have two ideas of equal weight or parallel thought, write them as two clauses in a compound sentence.
The day was hot and humid. The men had worked hard. The men had worked hard, and the day was hot and humid. The day was hot and humid, but the men had worked hard.
If one idea is more important than others, put it in the main clause of a complex sentence: Poor: The men were tired, and they had worked hard, and the day was hot.
Better: The men were tired because they had worked hard on a hot day. or
Although the day was hot and the men were tired, they worked hard.
If the adverbial modifier is the least important part of a complex sentence, put it first and keep the end position for the more important main clause:
Instead of: The men finished the job in record time, even though the day was hot and humid and they were tired.
Better: Even though the day was hot and humid and the men were tired, they finished the job in record time.
But be careful about having long, involved subordinate clauses come before the main clause. The reader may get lost or confused before getting to your main point or give up before getting to it. Also beware of letting too many modifying words, phrases, or clauses come between the subject and the verb. This is torture for the reader. The subject and the verb are usually the most important elements of a sentence; keep them close together whenever possible.
Readers, this now completes the Writing Section on PTE. In my first post I shared the TOEFL actual 650+ essays. Make sure you use that book. Read through the book and all the topics. See how each essay is written. Use the style, practise writing on MS Word. I know its impractical to be able to write all 650 essays but do read them all for ideas. if you would follow this even 75% you will end up on 80+ in PTE.
Keep an eye out for my next post which will cover PTE Reading.
Do share my post with your friends and don't forget to subscribe to my post. You can always write to me on my email shristiarya42@gmail.com if you have any questions.
Happy Studying :-)
